I Shall Return!

Sorry for the lack of posts, folks.  Life has been crazy for the last six months.  New posts will be going up soon, including letting all of you know what the results were of my last post.  Please just be patient.

Living In The Past?

Living In The Past?

                                                                            

Over the last few months I have been thinking a lot about the past.  I have been thinking about my life, and how much it has changed.  I have been thinking about the choices I have made for the last 18 years, decisions that have shaped my life.  Most of the choices that I have made helped me to have the great life that I now enjoy.  I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world, I have a job that I love, and I am truly blessed with great friends.

However, I also realize that I have made some poor choices in my life.  I made these choices because I did not know how to handle those situations.  In making those choices people got hurt.  It was never intentional to hurt those people, but nevertheless they got hurt.  Over the last few months I have reached out to quite a few of those that I hurt, to apologize for my actions.  Some have forgiven me, some have not, and some did not even remember what had happened.  There is just one person left to reach out to.

  Most of you know of whom and what I speak of, so I won’t go into details here.  I know it’s been almost 18 years, but the guilt still remains.  For almost a year I have I tried to send this person my apology.  Debra has even helped me with this letter.  However, over the last year there has been so much illness and other factors that my priorities had to shift and take care of these issues first.  Now that most of those issues, with the exception of the illness have been resolved, I can go back to all the things I had to put on the back burner. 

I guess the reason I am now hesitant to finish this apology and see it through to the end is because I may be a little scared.  What I did to her all those years ago was the worst thing I have ever done in my life.  And to top it all off I never even said, “I’m sorry” once to her.  I am not sure if I am scared because of all the emotions that it will bring up for both of us, the fact that she will react negatively for never giving her the explanation and closure she deserved, or that she will  refuse to even read or acknowledge my apology.

I know that she is happy in her life, as am I.  It is not my intention to hurt her.  I just want her to know how sorry I am for everything that I have done to her.  I guess I will just have to get over my fear and do it. 

Happy Anniversary

    Our wedding anniversary is just around the corner.  I always think how lucky I am to have found Debra.  I think so even more on our anniversary.  I proposed on our six month anniversary, and we were married on our two year anniversary.  It was a nice, small wedding.  We didn't want anything huge and grandiose.  We wanted something simple, yet fun.  (If anybody reading this knows us, you know that's how we prefer to be).  It was a HUGE improvement over her previous wedding at a Sixers game, officiated by former mayor Ed Rendell!

    We have a great marriage.  We can tell each other anything without fear of being judged by the other.  We never fight.  We sit down,  calmly and rationally talk things out.  (Honestly!!  We have only had two fights, one before we got married and one since).  We make each other laugh, and enjoy almost all the same things.  We can sit down and have  a serious intellectual discussion, then watch Family Guy!  I have never known someone who had a vocabulary as large as mine, which is why every so often we have "big word contests"!

  
      Debra and I have been through a lot (an understatement) over the years.  Between her health issues,  our family issues  and other matters, we have had some tough times.  Life has thrown us quite a few curve balls.  However, there is one thing that is always constant in our lives.  Our love for each other.  No matter how bad things get,  we both know that we have each other to get through what ever the problem may be.  We have NEVER let each other down.  That is why "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel is our wedding song.  It perfectly describes how we feel about each other and how much we love each other.

    Happy Anniversary, "My Precious".  I love you with all my heart and soul, and I always will.

   

Welcome To My Life

    Since I am new to all this, I guess I will just start with a little bit about myself.  I have a job that I love.  However, due to new company privacy policies, I am not allowed to name them or discuss work on either here or Facebook.

    I am married to the most wonderful woman  I have ever met.  It turns out that Debra and I already had a lot in common before we even met.  Her cousin was one of my good friends from college, her (now) Step Sister and my Sister were friends in High School, and several other examples.  When we met and first started dating we discovered all these things, and both felt that we were meant to be together.  Our only problem was that it took us both a long time to find each other!  I never thought I would meet someone after  I broke up with my girlfriend in college, and she after her divorce.  Thanfully we were both wrong!

    We don't have any children, unless you count her cat, who is the Queen of the house!   She had two cats when we first met (He is no longer with us.)  On our third date I went to her place (for the first time), to pick her up.  I was greeted at the door by the male kitty, who loved people.  We were talking in the kitchen, while he was sitting next to me, watching me intently.  I then looked down at him and said, "So, you're a cat.  How's that working out for you?"  Debra started laughing hard, and he perked right up and started rubbing his head on my foot.  Debra stopped laughing and said that he ususally takes to new people quickly, but she has never seen him take to anybody THAT quickly before.  She then looked at me and said, "Wow!"  He was the best endorsement I ever had! I miss the little guy.

    Most people think I am a nice guy, with a great sense of humor.  I am very understanding, and always ready to lend an ear or a hand to anyone in need.  I take things calmly, knowing that every problem has a solution.  The only time I raise my voice or go "Gordon Ramsay" is at work, and that is only if someone pushes me too far.

     I never thought, with my shyness, I would have much to say on here.  However, after looking back at what I wrote, I did say a lot.  And I feel that I will have lots more to say in the future.

Ok, wake up now! :)